Ending My First Lent

I started Lent this year as a way of focusing on getting in tune with the values I believed I’d need to be more in touch with as I began to move forward with my approximation of a year and a day; originally the plan was to rotate to a new virtue each week, with a different abstainment to accompany it. And it went incredibly well at first.

At the beginning I chose to focus on Beauty– which, as I interpret it in my faith, aligns more closely with the concepts of health, wellness, and hygiene. The point is the recognition of, and care for, the beauty we already possess as human beings (and, some would argue, the creations of the Gods)… But also the of recognition of certain elements of the social contracts which form the very foundation of another integral value: Community.

For the abstainment I chose to cut out all unnecessary sugar consumption; as a hypoglycemic I can’t disavow sugar altogether. But I was certainly consuming too much of it. And so I cut out anything that didn’t come from fruit or honey. And I was surprised by the changes it brought me both physically and- unexpectedly enough- spiritually. So much so that it felt natural to carry it into my second week.

And then COVID-19 struck; it became difficult to go out. When we did we found entire Grocery isles cleared. And I had to face the fact that, with severe dietary limitations already due to a digestive disorder, I could no longer be picky about what I ate. Unfortunately, that included where it concerned sugar.

Rather than moving on to a new value when I felt like I was being called to continue the journey related to Beauty, I opted to end Lent for myself early. The decision wasn’t an easy one, or one taken lightly, either. Lords know my Husband had to argue a case for doing so himself. And even knowing it was the right thing for my health, for a while I felt guilty about it- thinking I was failing at what I’d set out to do… What I’d promised my Gods I would do.

But then I realized that Beauty’s focus, first and foremost, is health. And in the end, that’s exactly what I made the decision for: My health and continued well being in the face of food insecurity and unsure global circumstance. So while Lent may have been “unsuccessful” in the fact that I didn’t complete it on my first try… It did give me an opportunity to practice something I’ve incessantly preached about Beauty since I first began arguing that it was a value worth preserving in modern Irish Reconstructionism.

That’s the idea that health, wellness, and hygiene are empyrean in the realm of Beauty; that to practice Beauty morally, and ethically, and with awareness to its dubious nature as a construct based largely in one’s outward physical appearance throughout history? These concepts must come first- conventional ideas of Beauty, the social contract, and what’s expected be damned.

That’s not to say that COVID-19 was meant, in any way, to be a divine lesson… That it’s heaven-sent as some sort of message or punishment from the Divine forces of the Universe (should they exist); I’ve heard those whispers among the Pagan and Neopagan communities since the Pandemic began. And I think they’re just as much a pile of bullshit as every other event used as proof of Divine Retribution for modern social ills has been.

Rather, the state of mind that I was in at the time– the intense religious reflection and introspection demanded by Lent- allowed me to be open to a spiritual lesson found within something simple… Something mundane; an element of the everyday- though the Pandemic is not a light subject that can, nor should be, trivialized.

And that's faith, isn't it?

To have faith is to believe with all your heart, beyond all reach of proof, in that which you cannot see… It is not a straw to be grasped at, but a state one grows into; it does not come all at once, but in moments- and a living faith will outlast even the darkest storm.

True faith and spirituality doesn’t come gilded with a shining halo, announced with trumpets thundering it welcome… It comes in whispers, quietly, in the places we’d least expect to find it.

This is a reminder to keep your eyes open. Because it’s so easy to miss the petrichor  on the air, when we’re always looking for the lightening that signals the storm; it’s so easy to miss the things that truly build and strengthen our faith when we’re looking for all the wrong signs.